I think you're absolutely correct.

We talked a lot about my borderline mother (weird I know but we talked a lot about his shyt too), the father rejection, and why I get a little crazy with relationships. He understands I'm not clinging to the past but that, as a woman, your mother has a lot to do with how you see yourself as a woman. And he previously dated a borderline for 5 years. He said it can get almost addicting (Idk, I've never dated someone with BPD.) But I was honest in telling him that I see some of my reactions and coping skills in me. I said that I don't believe I am my mother, but that it's there...and then I was like, "Uh oh, I hope you are not reliving the past with me." He said no, he felt that it was certainly not the same with me. We both acknowledge that we push people away. I think he's pushing a little, and I told him so. He sort of acknowledged that he was, but again...his arguments are totally valid. He did a long-distance relationship with his very first gf for 5 of their 10 years. And it ended really badly for him (she cheated on him with his best friend).

I am not trying to convince him to date me, and told him of that esp because his reasons were my initial red flags lol. If I am in a rational mindset, I think he's an honest, kind, and caring person who attempts to understand people rather than making quick judgments. I think he tries too hard to accommodate everyone in his life (specifically family), and that wears on him.
I think he should be alone for a while and figure out what he wants rather than always what someone else wants. I just felt like, okay, you rejected me even though you thought I was awesome but have some stuff and now you're just going to turn around and find someone else and I will be pretty hurt by that. He said he is truly done looking for quite a while.