I should clarify. I'm not necessarily the flaw in this situation, though I can't say for sure because I'm not in his brain. I just saw how I reacted with someone I began to become more and more interested in--the same patterns I've always had, very dysfunctional, very sabotaging, and realized that these things aren't getting fixed and aren't going away. And it's very painful for me to continue to try with men who are far less understanding and patient than J, and it's damaging to the men I unleash the crazy onto. It's more self-preservation than blame, really.