I can't use the trigger warning thing on my phone

Sometimes I don't know where to post on these boards because things can come under more than one thing- so I've posted this in two places

Growing up was tough- my mother was very physically and emotionally abusive and neglectful- but only to me out of the 3 of us. (I also suffered CSA outside of the family which contributes to my PTSD)

Last week I was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder.

Today I saw my T. We discussed the diagnosis more, and about my mother.
Not that being abused makes any sense- because it doesn't- it is illogical and immoral- but we came to the conclusion it is probable that the reason I was singled out was because I was/am different. It is the only explanation for why it was just me- because I am the only one who is autistic.

My brother spoke to my mother before my assessment and wrote an email to the assessor- he said that I was often blamed for things that weren't my fault because my mother mistook my lack of eye contact for dishonesty.
So I was beaten for 'lying'.

I was easily frustrated as a child which my mother met with rage and physical violence.

I found the session really hard today. It was hard not knowing why she did it- but it seems worse somehow for it to be because of a condition I was born with and that I can't help.

My ASD lead to abuse which lead to PTSD.



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