Quote:
Originally Posted by Nickname
Sorry for what happened to your friend, but why do you feel guilty about it? Did you mention it elsewhere, and I missed it?
Your search for love is legitimate. It is everyone's quest. But you seem to make it hard for yourself to believe that someone else is willing or capable of loving you. Why do you create these barriers to yourself?
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He got angry at me, when no matter how horrible he was to others I knew the real person he is and I loved him unconditionally as a brother. It hurt me when he pushed me away, and that I really needed him to tell me he was sorry for what he said to me before he passed away, "Told me to never talk to him again ever. Leave me the **** alone and I'm tired of your complaining, I'm not your friend anymore so go away forever."
Man those words feel like daggers and it hits me so hard. I know it was something petty, but damn I loved him and I wanted him to succeed and it kills me he never got his wish, but maybe he did in some way, but I knew he was miserable when he was alive his cousin being dead from suicide. I missed her too, I remember seeing her before she died.
I really always felt I wanted to save people either from their self and just be acknowledge I'm here instead of thrown away.