Yes, I really don't mean to. I've been told this many years ago by my old social worker when I was dating habitually with many different girls at the time. I was 16 he told me that same thing.

I wanted someone to enable the worst in me, because I enjoyed the abuse in which I do and I more loved the highs for being appreciated in a false more bipolar manner by girls who love me then try to harm every bit of me.

I know this very too well. I know in my heart I never wanted that, but I stayed single to step back and find out what's causing this. Why and all of this. I learned a bit, but not much to help.

See I'll never know, all I can do is know whether to back out or to continue. Never relief that this person is legitimate with me and not thinking poorly of me under their sheep clothes.

See when it comes to relationships, if it were a snake it would bite me and if venomous it would kill me for certain.

I'm blind, I don't know what it is I need and I never received what I try to perceive all relationships feel more scary and less about fun. When I really want it to be fun, not scary all the time, but something real heated and just exciting not by physical touch or sex, just real connection smiles and laughter the way I do with some friends when we have fun. I badly needed it.