I don't really want to analyze my childhood anymore. I think there comes a point where we all want to try to figure out what went wrong and why we are the way we are. I know it influenced me for life, but I'm no longer blaming anyone for the way I am. They did what they knew how to do. We only act on what we know. They didn't know how damaging things were, they had their own problems, and I can only see things from my own perspective. I can never see how it was through their eyes, or what they went through as children and young adults before they had us kids. Obviously I wanted to break the cycle. I wanted to do better. In many ways I have failed and am failing. All I can do is move on from here and do what I can.
One thing you mentioned about your parents, is them wanting you to be forever grateful, thinking they did the best job, and that they did good when they didn't. That's something I don't have in me. I admit when I do wrong and didn't do my best. I don't know if that is helpful to my kids but at least I'm honest. Thanks for sharing with us.