Ruari, I'm most likely older than you and I have a lot of experience with online dating in the past. I'm not saying there aren't great people out there, but to me, it seemed like it draws emotionally unavailable people just from the way one "meets" someone, the initial communication and even the beginning dating.

It's different from being able to observe someone out of the artificial "dating" persona (like if you met someone at work or anywhere else in real life).

The big plus where you're concerned is you KNOW who you are and what you're looking for. Continue trying to meet people, but use that knowledge of yourself to weed out people who aren't likely to meet your needs or who otherwise don't seem to have their **** together, KWIM?

It's far more likely that you'll weed out time-wasters and liars than genuinely good guys. Nobody should need to make long explanations about why they live with roommates at 40 or similar.

FYI: I've found a treasure trove of free information by searching court records (marriage/divorce, civil/criminal) in the county of their residence. I once discovered a person I had been dating was still legally married. Very useful information to weed out liars.

IMO, nothing wrong with you at all.