So many great comments here. It warms me to hear how well some of your therapists have responded to your feelings of attachment and affection. Therapists can really say and do the most amazing things.

Nikki, thanks for sharing your wonderful story. What a moment for you and your T.

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alexandra_k said:
i did some reading on erotic transference... some therapists think that erotic transference is necessary. if it doesn't happen then the therapist and client aren't a good fit

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I don't think I have erotic transference with my T, but we have a very strong bond that is therapeutic, and we are a great fit. I feel my love toward him is very platonic (and can I say "pure"?). I did feel a phase of really, really intense attachment to him in our early therapy, but I have passed through that to something more comfortable, stable, and secure. I've become comfortable with the high degree of trust I have for him, and that enabled me to trust him even more.

almedafan, those are good thoughts. I feel my experience in therapy has indeed affected my outside relationships in a positive way (e.g. my relationship with my mom is better than it has ever been at any time in my life). For one thing, the fact that I let myself trust my T so absolutely gives me hope I could do this again someday in a love relationship, and this is a hard thing to come to when you are in the midst of breaking up a 20 year marriage due to betrayal after betrayal. So the trust I've found and expressed in therapy has been nothing short of an amazing accomplishment and given me hope for my emotional future. Therapy can be really amazing.