I have much more malevolent fantasies of extracting my revenge on people, often who haven't even wronged me but I perceive them to have at the time. When I say nasty I mean homicidal ideation, I feel like they have passive aggressively attacked me & are laughing at me, then I get a little grandiose & go on about all the ways I could hurt them, truely getting a rush from the idea of them being frightened of me.

These thoughts scare the living hell out of me when I've returned to my right mind. I've never really believed I could act on them, even at the time it's happening I know I couldn't really act on them but it doesn't stop me from telling others what I'm thinking.