yea its hard. its hard to even imagine i bet. ive been having paranoid ideation since i was 9. thats something to think about. depression didnt hit til i was 12. puberty i guess made it worse but i was being bullied. i went through a gothic phase at 13. dressing in all black, wearing converse, and wearing maroon lipstick. i gave up on god and became athiest for a couple of weeks. worse thing i ever done because thats when i started hearing demons and stuff. i quickly went back to god and prayed for angels to surround me. i was wearing spiked bracelets from hot topic.