Rio you said,
'I've had people telling me that it must have been horrible being there, but I don't see how it can have been so bad for me - I just saw the tail end of it! It must have been so much worse for the people who were actually there, in the room. But if it wasn't so bad, then why do I still get affected by reminders of it? I don't get it...'

Trauma in children does not get processed properly. Dismissing what actually happened and denying how bad it was for you, thrown in with survivor guilt are all things that need to be dealt with.

I think it would be a good idea to seek some more therapy. You can go to your GP and he will refer you to a counsellor or therapist.

Take care.