I've had a disappointment which has set me back, which in hindsight is a fairly stupid thing to be this upset over. But the hurt, anger, and frustration I am feeling about this disappointment has bled over into other aspects of my life.

A week ago, I was very happy. I've been pretty positive and even-keeled for months, but I was walking on cloud 9 the last few weeks. And then I crashed. And it's like...the thoughts just come in and are so insidious. At first it was just confined to the initial disappointment, and I was able to keep them confined and able to keep perspective about the rest of my life, and keep it positive. But now, I feel like a complete failure. I didn't eat for two days because I just wasn't hungry (I just ordered some pizza though...it was delicious). I canceled plans I had with people this week because I don't feel like being "up." I have been trying very hard to keep my brain focused on something other than spiraling, but it's not working very well. And I'm starting to remember all of the conflicts I've had with people at work, at school (though I've been graduated for 5 months), with my family...I'm thinking about how I'm not an easy person to get along with and more people tend to dislike me than like me. I'm thinking about stupid things I said literally 20 years ago. It's like little boxes of crap are opening up in my head faster than I can stop them.

Anyway. That's all. I'm trying really hard not to be self-destructive. I'm not going to do anything, it's more about my thoughts and using this forum to distract myself from where they'll take me.