OE thank you so much for your response. Touch is a fear like none I can describe. The yearning and hunger, the wanting and needing of something God made us as humans to desire and need in order to function is something that can can cause so many of us an issue. I can only explain that need for a physical connection as primal and instinctual. The need to be touched and soothed and calmed and loved is a need like no other. But the fear of is a fear greater and more paralyzing sensation then any I can even begin to describe.

I do feel guilty for having a need of others. Why does my need for human interaction and contact a concern of someone elses. If I need contact then I am putting my needs above someone elses. I have no right to have a need that demands the usage of someone elses body. I have no right to ask someone to give of "themselves" for the purpose of filling my need. I'm not talking sexual but just physical. I can't hold hands, I can't have someone touch my back or rub my shoulder. I can't have someone hug me. I can;t allow myself to give in to that need when I know I am on the brink of falling apart and someone wants to help me. I simply can't.

Somehow someway that primal need will be met. We are human. I get that need met by animals. I feel safe that way. They love unconditionally, ask for nothing in return, and never hurt you emotionally.

I do hope that others who have the same issue will realize they are not alone and that they will have the stregnth to seek help or to continue to push themselves to grow. It hurts to talk about this but so many things about trauma are left unsaid and people suffer needlessly and helplessly because they do not know they are not alone. There has been enough suffering already no need to add one more thing to that list of harm done and ways human suffering has become so unbearable.