Hmmm. Is it true that growth takes place during the darkest times??? Because it seems like I am simply trying to "process" or "integrate" past events, as this is a weak area for me. It seems that successful people don't have to do all this processing and integrating. Everywhere I go I see memories of things from earlier times, and I am always making connections; and I really wonder if this is unnecessary rumination. For many years, even decades, I thought exactly like you, but now I am challenging this theory about depression being productive.

We are always trying to make up a life "narrative" that keeps us (our ego) safe. During depression it is as if we lose the narrative, and that is frightening. Ultimately, there is no narrative. But that is metaphysics, and dangerous territory for me, the depressive, although today I am guilty of reading words by my favorite all-time depressive author, Leo Tolstoy!

I think now I may have read this book on willpower you mentioned because a fact from it has come to my mind. I think I read something about mental fatigue. That is why it is better to not try to change a lot of things at once. I did this with smoking. I just focused on not smoking and did not worry too much about diet or exercise. I think this worked. To quit smoking takes a tremendous amount of willpower. I think people make the mistake when quitting smoking to try to change all their other bad habits, too, but it doesn't work. They end up losing focus on their original goal and go back to smoking. I am certain my success at quitting smoking was from using a model I learned about from this book, but I wouldn't swear on it!

Back to the paradigm shift. That is another challenging topic. I notice that no matter how much I move forward I seem to return to a baseline which includes episodes of depression. In my mind a real paradigm shift would be to just NOT GET DEPRESSED EVER AGAIN. That would be personal growth. But as you can see, I have a via negativa view of depression, and not via positiva as you do.

I hope everyone on the forum is enjoying our philosophical meanderings! We so love to get lost in the forest!

I want the power of my will to propel me into new socially supportive situations. Bringing us back on topic...