My girlfriend long ago ex, her family was dysfunctional in some manner but it felt like a family yes claustrophobic with all these brother and sisters but it felt unified and harmonious in some way. I needed that in my family. My family is mom existent distant and fighting and all I want is to have what I never had. I struggle with suicide because I needed someone else another persons parent growing up and now to give me what they recieve all the time I don't get.