Quote:
Based on my research and the research of other shame researchers, I believe that there is a profound difference between shame and guilt. I believe that guilt is adaptive and helpful – it’s holding something we’ve done or failed to do up against our values and feeling psychological discomfort.
I define shame as the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.
I don’t believe shame is helpful or productive. In fact, I think shame is much more likely to be the source of destructive, hurtful behavior than the solution or cure. I think the fear of disconnection can make us dangerous. shame v. guilt - Brené Brown
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To consider:
15 Common Cognitive Distortions | Psych Central
Fixing Cognitive Distortions | Psych Central
Emotional Competency - Shame
Challenging Negative Self-Talk | Psych Central
You are incredibly hard on yourself. Challenging your assessments might be helpful?