Warning: I may be kind of tough loving you in this post. But you have always impressed me as being able to take on a challenge.

I am not too experienced in BP but does logic help? Did you think of quitting this job because the environment was unethical? Did you consider quitting the job and reporting to the proper authorities? If not, then it's pretty much a closed topic. In other words, talking publicly about the unethical practices after the fact...I don't know. It is kind of...cheesy.

How you were treated is another matter. But once again, did you deal with it as each thing came up? For instance, being talked to disrespectfully by any employer is simply not acceptable.

I recently read something that has been helping me. The quote is: Life gives you a sword and a shield. Know when and how to use them.

In other words, it sounds like you need to find a job with some protection against untold stress from insane things as you described. I can't say how to do this as in my last job I encountered stuff very similar to what you talk about and I did not handle it well.

If you are going to report someone, report them. If not, withdrawal your sword. You aren't prepared to do battle, so why rehearse it in your head?

It is so painful to act responsibly when everyone around you is acting insanely. But I am suggesting that is exactly what needs to be done. In the future I intend to not be so passive in work situations because I am also tired of being the fall guy. But as well, I need to not keep quiet if the work environment is not being run well. I can also choose to look for another job while I still have that job. Remember that, above all. All stuff I am telling myself.

I definitely get revenge fantasies but now I don't feed them. I just observe them and let them run out. In truth, they are hurtful and it might be more productive to gain the mental strength to shift the attention. Also, maybe problem solve to find ways to avoid trashy situations like the one you describe, in the future. You are better than this job.

Also, be gentle with yourself. You have been having a rough go of it lately. Take care, okay?