((((((((Pickle)))))))))))
I really have been lol ing at myself, at my intensity about all this!! Coming on line and coming here it feels like I'm so full of anxiety, - ' how are they going to respond? will they respond? will I be blanked? ' etc its mad, its like a kind of internal thriller. Thanks for sharing your fears and expereinces in therapy. Its wierd isnt it, well I am finding it all wierd, and exciting, I'm sure I'll calm down in after a while.
Are you 'on the firm'? thats what they call it in NA here, I notice the update of the serenity prayer you've got there.
I'd like to talk about my experiences in therapy too, I might try the therapy forum next door.
I'd like to gradually share more so I can be known here with you as Raaynadi suggests. Hope to get to know you as well. What you said about being afraid no-one will like you makes me feel I like you. Love the honesty.

((((((((((((((Raynaadi)))))))) That makes sense, that people come here who have found they didnt get understanding elsewhere. I feel like I'm learning for the first time about relationships in a more real sense, and in this place its like a practice ground, but it has somehow even more intesity for me than irl. I even love these colloquialisms (? spelling?). Its like these days I look to this place to get my emotional supply. Since I got to PC, its like I've been in a love affair with it, and I know thats a sort of exile compromise, to emotionally invest in people who arent physically in my life, but at least there is emotional contact, so its good.

I'm going to join a big book study group in Oct. That will be another challenge for me. I know the man who's running it, he is very inspiring, but has rather controlling tendencies, and I tend to clash with that. I feel bound by my integrity to challenge things that seem hypocritical, but that can have a disruptive effect on a situation for me. I have to find the balance. But my general direction for now is to do more speaking out and stand by my truth. Some things I feel appauled by, that others just breeze over.


riverX