People have been telling me for a while now that it's evident from what I tell them that my parents have been emotionally and occasionally physically abusive to me, but I have been in denial. And then two days ago, I finally was hit with the full force of what that meant; that I couldn't pretend that I wanted to be like my mother when I was grown up, that I had a lot of problems now in relationships because I never had a truly healthy one at home. I realized the other day how often I was ignored and neglected as a child when I explained how I would spend days at a time doing whatever I could to get my mom to talk to me with no success, or that I was told at the age of 3 that I had outgrown tickle fights so now to this day I don't really know how to tickle. It seems kind of stupid, but recognizing the problems which built up so much of my life? It's causing a big change. Has anyone else experienced this kind of denial and then painful rush of clarity?