Hello
I read somewhere that "... the day a helpless baby is born is the day two parents suddenly realize how intensely unprepared and vulnerable they also really are..."
There are no perfect people and parenting brings out the best and worst of each person. I do not know what emotional/physical abuse you survived, but your acknowledgement (end of denial) and clarity (realizations/expectations/disappointments) are quite inspirational. I had a hard time admitting the "problem" and still hate that I have to talk about "it" (not a parent, other abuser for my sudden mental/emotional epihany(s). It is good you are deciding your boundaries of treatment from others including your own parents and deciding what is okay /what is *not okay*. That is strong, healthy and positive.