I appologize ahead of time for the length. There's just somethings that need to be said out loud, rather than just toying around with it in my head.

I have never been officially diagnosed with it, just myself believing so.

I'll admit it. And I guess admiting it is a big first step. I believe I have a sexual addiction. I've researched the subject, not nessicarily extensively, enough to know that it's a very real, very likely possibility.

I've just turned nineteen, and I've only just lost my virginity this past June. I went to a party of about six people. Alcohol being involved. I let everyone crash at my apartment. And things happened between me and an old friend that I knew a bit from high school. He was in a predicament where he ould only be out with people on the weekends. After that weekend and had a discusison and decided that going out would be good. At the time, I thought even if it's only the weekends, it's better than not even having anyone. As time went on, I started seeing him less and less. But I held on to him as much as could (good month of not seeing him before realizing that it's not a relationship I want).
But right after I got in a relationship with a fantastic man. He gives me everything a relationship should be. Yada, yada, yada. He knows that I've cheated on my ex. He's also told me that he wouldn't be nessicarily mad if I cheated on him. And I didn't, until my birthday, Friday. It was bunch of people at my place. And things happened. Things that I knew souldn't have happened. What's worse is that it was one, and then another one right after. Talk about degrading.

I don't want to, but I still do.
It's like an impulse. If it's there, I will.
I only think about it after.
And when I do, I always feel horrible and degraded.
I don't want to sleep arouond on people.
I care about my boyfriend quite a bit.
And when I do that, I know that it'll hurt him.
It hurts me even more when I do.
I know, I'm young, I'm only nineteen.
Too young to form an addiction like that?
I don't believe so.
I just want to stop it before it does.