Thanks. I've tried looking at stuff like that, it never seems to help....

I sort of know I'm hard on myself - "sort of" because I tend to think that, well, these assessments are true. Challenging them just seems like making excuses, being weak, or lowering my standards. If I followed through, it would be like giving up, or would require even unhealthier beliefs to stay away. Like the only option I have, then, is to follow through. Work, punish, avoid, self-blame, etc.

The thing is I don't really have access to psych help, and I'm not that good at therapy anyway.