Hi....
I'm new here. Am having a hard time warding off the depression of my situation. Last spring, my functional alcoholic husband asked for a separation. This was a surprise to me, as we had been married 33 years and neither of us believed in divorce. He doesn't really give a good reason other than we haven't gotten along for the last two years. I agree on that...we haven't gotten along in the last two years...
Because he has been drinking himself into oblivion the last 2 + years. And I have been itching about it the last 2 years! I started by just trying to talk to him because his drinking had been slowly increasing the last 4-5 years. The last couple of years he has been drinking himself to the point where he doesn't remember what he did the night before, the next day. This was happening about 3-5 times a week, every week. When he was obliverated from drinking, he would also need babysitting because he would do stupid stuff like want to drive, so he would go for the keys and then I had to physically take the keys away because he wouldn't want to give them to me....he fell out the window a couple of times (although not very high up) and he tends to forget where the bathroom is and urinated everywhere...in the baskets, in the corners, in the sinks...you get it.
So why am I so sad and depressed because he is gone? Why? Because I still love him...I met him when I was 15 and yes, he was an alcoholic back then...but, I did end up marrying him and had 2 off his children, now grown ups. Anyway...He, right now, lives in a different state...A state where most of OUR friends are...Although the friends tell me to run as fast as I can away from him while I have the chance....I'm missing him and just wanting to talk to him, although I haven't. You see..if I ask myself if I want to keep dealing with all the stuff that comes along with being with an alcoholic...then NO, I don't want him....but man...30 years I devoted my life to this man..through thck and thin....
Well since I can't type anymore because my hand if going numb...I will end my rant and question here...Need some feedback...I don't understand.