Quote:
Originally Posted by lostinsidemyself
Actually reading "It is natural for humans to calm themselves when upset by clinging to another person." Is sending my mind into OMG mode  but I also LONG SO BAD to be held but when someone even touches my shoulder i jump.
I also feel VERY numb to my past, i also have never cried at a funeral...or in general. My therapist "gets it".
Only in recent weeks have i even been able to shed one, just one tear over just one written story one of the things in my past...and its confused the holy heck out of me and still does.
It hasnt happened since, it all new know so whom knows whats around the next corner...but know you are not alone at all in this!
Edited to add: Oh also, I bought a body pillow & a VERY soft pillow cover for this very reason. |
"Actually reading "It is natural for humans to calm themselves when upset by clinging to another person." That statement sends me into EEEK mode to. I have been learning to pay attention to where your body holds trauma. I can feel a tingling sensation and a tension between my shoulders and across the top of my shoulders. Strange how our bodys store trauma's. That is part of why it is so difficult to accept touch. Our muscles are tight and ready for the flight, fight or freeze response.
Is sending my mind into OMG mode
but I also LONG SO BAD to be held but when someone even touches my shoulder i jump.
If no one else gets it, We get it, and I am so glad your T gets it.
Good for you for letting one tear escape. That is a start. Weather you meant for it to or not, the fact that it did is huge. Either you let it or your body did what it was designed to do. Either way that is a huge praise. Things are happening and changing one little step and tear at a time. You are gonna get through this.