I've always been a lover of words, language, communication.

I figured out a long time ago that as wonderful as words are, can be - helpful and tremendously evocative and illustrative......sometimes they fail. Most particularly in matters of emotion. Putting feelings in to WORDS is very, very hard.

For me, when life applies a tremendous amount of stress on top of my feelings I don't become more talkative; I become less and less. Eventually, as I descend lower and lower in to the abyss, conditions become such that it's virtually impossible for me to find words to describe how I'm doing. To the point that I will barely be capable of scraping two words together and forcibly shoving them out of my mouth under those conditions.

The condition I'm in right now.

When all I can, barely above a whisper, gasp out is, "Not good" in relation to how I'm coping/feeling....I am in actual fact emotionally, psychologically and spiritually at defcon 1, 5-alarm raging, biblical armageddon proportions of suffocating under an unrelenting, soul-crushing, life-deadening weight of abject, total, complete despair.

Does this sound familiar to anybody? Is it only me that reacts this way?

And how am I doing?

Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good. Not good.