Hey... It isn't that I'm terribly averse to seeing him ftf. I mean... I look forward to the sessions considerably... I'm glad that I'm in therapy and I'm glad that he is my therapist. He hasn't said or done anything to make me want to terminate or anything like that.

It is just that... I'm a big fan of email and chat and... As it turns out... The phone. I thought the phone session went really well and if there was something suckful about it it was that it was 15 minutes shorter than our usual session. But the thing was... That I don't know that he was particularly comfortable with it. I think that he places a LOT of emphasis on body gesture / posture and eye contact and physical presence kind of stuff. Whereas I'm a much greater fan of tone of voice and even... The absense of tone of voice... Just words words words. I've seen how amazing friendships can be online. How you can anticipate peoples emotions and thoughts in a chat encounter. How you can notice that something is wrong from very subtle cues. You can do all that without physical presence and you can even do it without tone of voice.

I think his beef is that he is big on emotional processing and he thinks (and he would probably be right) that i defend by switching into rational / intellectual processing. but he doesn't see how i have emotional relationships with other media and he doesn't know (i don't think) that it is possible to do that. That if we were to do therapy by email and / or chat and / or phone (maybe) that I would be able to tell him some of the stuff that is really hard / embarrassing... And that yes I would be feeling it. That I could allow myself to feel it all the more without him observing me. I don't think he understands...

But he thinks I'm defending... So... Who knows....