Quote:
Originally Posted by DesigningWoman
I worked while hypomanic for months. I thought I was doing great, so productive. I took a final exam while manic.
Reality check: the day I was released from inpatient. The work project was rejected in part due to my work. My boss was highly displeased. I finally read the thing with clear eyes. Even I had no idea what I was talking about; it made very little to no sense. Information was wrong.
Then, I got the grade on the exam that I had been boasting was so easy. I thought I got a 100%. Most of it was written explanations. I got a low C. That is badly failing in grad school. One final grade C in a class is suspension. With two you are dismissed from the program..
Frankly I think it might have been graded even lower but the prof felt bad for me or thought something was wrong with me that night. She knows my work and this was not me. I believe I was writing vertically at some points in messy, giant letters. Poor prof had to try and read that.
|
This. I am currently revising a grant proposal that I wrote while hypo - maybe not vertical writing but I thought this thing was so good when I wrote it and I realize now it was kind of disorganized. I don't think I can organize my thoughts well enough to write well when hypo which is the main thing I need to be productive about. So I don't think it's a net gain. I also want to do silly things that wouldn't fly when I'm hypo unless I were already famous and I spend research money on things that are a bad idea.
Also I've never had a real hypo experience without a crash. And the low productivity/issues in the crash far outweigh the benefits of feeling productive in the hypo.