Quote:
Originally Posted by whimsical
Hi,
I've been on the forum before, a long time ago. I was wondering what integration is and how it feels to be integrated. It seems that most people on here are working towards that goal, so I would like to learn more about it. I'm 63 years old, and my inner world is complex. In the last two years my child alters have been telling their stories in therapy, but they are still very much alive and separate from me. I still hear them argue  and play together. I don't lose very much time anymore and I can usually remember what I lost by asking inside. The older kids and adults have also grown up with me. I don't have any idea how it would be not to have them there! I've been asked if I want to integrate and I honestly can't answer. Maybe if I knew a little more I could make a good decision. Thanks for any help, Whimsical |
Ok. You're gonna hear about care providers and diagnostic stuff, but a lot of that is mostly to support the insurance process. Integration is different for different people. There isn't one clear definition of this in reality. People might want there to be, but there isn't. And what experts say will inevitably change again and again.
Here's what I know. Integration is not a destination. It's a process. And you don't have to seek it. Are you happy? Are you functioning in a way that satisfies you? Are you comfortable with your parts being more separate in your experience? There is no right answer. And "integration" is not superior to living with parts that can function well together. For some folks living with parts that can function well together
is integration.
I have read definitions on line that talk about all the parts blending into one personality. If we step back it's a matter of degree. I doubt a person who has lived and developed with DID can ever not be aware of parts. We won't wake up one day as if none of this happened. For me stress brings more separation to my experience of the parts. I've been this way for decades and from the beginning, so for me integration means more awareness of as many parts as possible and for those parts to work together, not against each other. That's my integration.