mckell, that was a very articulate post and I think you should show it to your therapist. She will see the problem immediately. Hopefully, she will have ways to deal with what has happened and help you mend your relationship with your husband in ways that do not make you feel like you did. Sounds like a very painful situation. Hang in there, because I think it is a really good sign that your husband is trying so hard. Now, if only your needs can just not get lost in the shuffle.

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Should I be looking for a new therapist?

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I think you need to let your therapist know what is going on with you before you abandon her.

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Can one therapist treat more than one member of a family without a conflict of interest?

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Yes. It is helpful if she has appropriate training to do that. some therapists do not treat multiple members of the same family as it goes against their philsophy and they don't have the training for it. My therapist is a family systems guy and this approach allows for treating multiple family members in different combinations. He has a lot of background and training in this. Maybe ask your therapist this very good question.

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Am I wrong to be feeling this way?

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No, you are very astute to know what is wrong with what has happened.