hey... i think a crush is a kind of an erotic transference. i guess an erotic transference doesn't have to be sexualised in much the same way as a crush doesn't have to be sexualised. i mean... i don't think that little kids typically have sexual feelings for their parents. more sensory pleasure in smiles and non-sexual touch etc. cats are quite erotic creatures - but not in a sexual sense.

i'm not jealous of my therapists other clients or his wife, either. well... i guess i was sad about his having time off to spend with her and his kid... but i think that was more about his not being there to meet my needs at the end of the day :-( i have sexual fantasies about him sometimes... curious, kind of. wonder what it would be like. don't experience a longing for it, though... appreciate that it is not something that i would actually want... part of what is amazing about the feelings is that... them becoming reality simply isn't on the cards. yeah, i want to be special to him like how he is special to me but sex would be different... it would be about him... or it would be mutual in a way that i don't want our relationship to be, really. i need to idealise him / look up to him a little. i need him to be abstinent. i need him to be focused on me rather than telling me about his crappy week etc etc etc. but... i'd like him to enjoy my presence the way i enjoy his, yeah. not that i'll ever tell him how much i like him, of course, lol.