It's something I can afford to do one time, but it is a good chunk. I was going to give her $100 but talked myself down.

I've spent money I don't have helping others, but I have no concept of what is normal and what is too much and what I can't afford.

I don't spend money when I'm manic. I give it away, which is all good except I don't think about how much I can afford or what is rational and normal.