What I mean is this: a lot of us enjoy hypomania (I do, it's the only time I'm not exhausted!!). But have you found that, either in general, or in a couple particular instances, that hypomania has truly benefitted your life, whether it was for work, your family, etc? That it wasn't distructive?

I'm pretty energized right now and expect a late night. I've been floating between hypomania and quite a bit of low right now (I wouldn't call my lows depression at the moment. But work has been intensely stressful and wearing me down).

There is so much going on during the day I feel like to go to bed on time all the time I am just barely surviving. Like I don't have a chance for any true THOUGHTS until later.

And my family, we're struggling right now. I worry about the longterm safety of my job. Another private family practice clinic might bite the dust . I think my husband is struggling with depression right now. He's not prone to mental health troubles like I am and it did not even occur to me until tonight. But now it just..FITS. And top of that my 5 year old is struggling in kindergarten. I feel like me need to turn this ship around and NOW.

So there are all these things that I genuinely need to do to improve the well being of myself and my family. 1) I want to write a letter to my husband offering my support. I feel that he's been giving me signals for help and I haven't seen them. (would be easier if he could have said "HELP!" but whatever). I feel he will hear my words better from a letter than from my mouth.

I want to organize my schedule better. Get an outline of what I need to be doing to get ready in the morning and when. Writing things down on paper helps. My art has been the only thing giving me life so doing a stylized calender or chart may help more. But again, no time to do during the day.

I also want to write a letter for my next psychiatrist visit. I haven't seen her since November due to schedule glitches. It's a pretty important visit because I want to discuss several things

1) physical health update: coming close to getting my sleep disorder finally diagnosed and treated (yay!)

2) Discussion of my possible hypomanias and what I suspect was close to a full manic event three years ago

3) My art. I just really started painting and drawing seriously around the turn of the new year. I do not exaggerate when I say it has kept me alive.

4) My concerns about my husband and how to be on the "other side of the coin" supporting someone else's mental health.

So anyway, my thing, is as long as I'm not letting myself stay up two or three days on end......as long as I push myself out of bed and to work (I've never missed a day even when in my bad depression or anxiety so I think this is doable)......is there any compelling reason why NOT to stay up and get this done when I have energy and life?