I think spring-early summer of 2014. I was taking Nardil, and it was like I was seeing the world differently, with much less anxiety and depression. I was working a customer service job that would probably normally suck, but since I was feeling great and hadn't been able before that to do a job like that because of anxiety, I kinda liked it. That winter, before starting Nardil, I'd lost a lot of weight (from anxiety and depression. It was kind of hilarious hearing everyone say I looked great and wanting to be like, "thanks! I was too depressed and anxious to eat, threw up when I tried to every morning, and was so weak I'd get dizzy and have to sit on the ground while walking! But hey) so that didn't hurt, and I was putting more into my appearance and liking it.

I can remember a few particular days, that I'd feel ridiculous telling someone were some of the best days of my life, but to actually have energy and feel good like that was just amazing. One day, after getting up at 5 am and working 7 hours or so, my family and I spent the day rafting. It was so beautiful out and it was fun, and to have the energy and motivation for something like that after working too was just unheard of and amazing to me. Another sunny day around then, my sister and I went to the botanical gardens and then to a really nice park. I have pictures of us sitting on the hill overlooking downtown, and looking at them still makes me happy and a little sad. I spent a lot of time around then hiking and in nature, and actually feeling present and peaceful. They seem simple, but just being able to feel that well after years of mostly being depression and anxious was incredible, it's ridiculous.

Oh to feel that good again, without ending up in a mixed state and quitting Nardil. Also oh to lose the 50+ pounds Nardil made me gain during that time that were kinda worth it, maybe.