So now that my house has been cleared and cleansed I know what I've seen inside was spirit because it's gone. Not even my kids see it anymore. What I see trying to get in and watching me is my hallucination. Today I had to fight the urge not to enclose the living room so I couldn't see the kitchen or front door. That's the only place I see it watching me. Could this be because of the years I spent shut off from the world? Scared and worried when he would return home? Looking through the kitchen window staring at the front door? I've been out of that abusive relationship for ten years now and have a wonderful husband. Could this be a form of ptsd? I don't see things from any other window but those two. I keep my pistols close by incase anyone comes up the drive ( we live in country at least 30 minutes from emergency services) anytime someone comes to my driveway I don't know I meet them outside away from my family with my sidearm in place. I'm always calm and polite and never threatening but inside I feel like everyone is coming to attack me so I have to show that I am ready to defend myself.
Just so u know out here it's very common to carry weapons and as a sahm out in the boonies not one person has been surprised or scared or anything but polite back. I just don't know if my feelings are justified or leftover from prior abuse especially with the hallucinations.



No matter how small, a positive change deserves to be celebrated!