First of all I'd like to apologise for my absense on the forum. Life got over the top of me and I needed to get off the computer.

Today I feel numb. I don't feel like I can smile today. Usually when I feel like this I make a blanket fort and sit in it. But I cannot be bothered doing that today. Something new has been going on. I keep seeing a black cat in the house even though I don't own a cat. I swear it's as real as the nose on my face. I'm afraid to tell my brother about the cat because I want to keep it. I've given it a name and everything. It's called Ace because he reminds me of the ace of spades. I say he's a he but I don't actually know his gender. I never get close enough to touch him because he hisses at me when I get near him.

Another reason I won't tell my brother about him is because last time I told my brother about something he threatened to call my mental health team. He used them against me and it's not fair. I'm being bullied by my brother. If I get angry, we have a shouting match and I end up locking myself in the bathroom. So I've sorta learned to keep my mouth shut and not mention a word to my brother. keeping my big mouth shut is the only way for me to live in harmony with my brother.