I went to social security on the advice of my therapist. I totally dissociated and looked like I was nuts. I left the building after talking to the clerk. He seemed understanding. I had to sit on the curb in the parking lot. I wasn't able to drive and was afraid that if someone saw me get into the drivers seat they might call the police. That's how bad I thought I was behaving. I finally was able to collect myself and get in and drive. I went home a applied on line. I am not sure I did that well either. I know I can get a job but I can't keep the same people going to work. Sometimes it feels like my first day all over again. I am not sure I can push myself to try to get social security. But I also don't think I am able to keep a job for any length of time before I fall apart. I just don't know why everyone is coming and going at will. It never used to be this way. It's exhausting.