Background- dealt with undiagnosed MI most of life probably all. Started mood stabilizer and anitanxiety in November because I finally took my husband in with me n got someone to listen. I'm not ready to see a t or psyc doc yet deep trust issues. Took 6 years just to return to doc about mi. Because I've lived with these symtoms so long I'm very aware of how to hide them from children so the storm inside doesn't touch them. I'm currently learning how to recognize the symptoms from a bipolar perspective and finally broke through my journaling barrier last night. My husband helps me through and I am slowly gaining the courage to call the t. I have the person and the number.

Visual hallucinations- I see people walking outside my home. Past my kitchen window or peeking into the front door. I know it's not real and normally I just ignore it but yesterday the feelings it evoked were fear and ocd to cover the living room. When I wrote my mind down most of what came out was cover the walls cover the walls but once I journaled it the thoughts were gone my hubby read it we discussed my feelings of being attacked and my family harmed. We talked about what safety nets I have in place to protect my family and he reminded me that I am a strong able woman and we can get through this.

Audio- I hear music like a radio covered in thick translucent green slime playing really loud this usually comes during times of high anxiety physical stress since I keep my environment fairly stable I don't here it as often as I did when I was working.

They really don't bother me because I'm used to them. It's the feelings they invoke. And then rxqueen...if mi progresses as a norm in general as I've seen mine do over the last year just plummet. Where does that leave us? K I'm done I gotta switch back to positive information seeking learn journal and overcome.

I will mention ptsd in my journal along with this episode. When I do finally see a t that's what I'm taking in cause my brain. can't explain this crap. Gotta take medical notes on myself.

No matter how small, a positive change deserves to be celebrated!