I was diagnosed BP 2 when I was in my 30s but I didn't really "know" it. Many antidepressants were tried but I was still depressed so my pdoc put me on one antidepressant which triggered a hypomanic episode. We then added Lithium and it worked to stabilize my moods. I remember asking if I was bipolar and my psychiatrist asked ME if I thought I was. I said probably. He neither confirmed nor denied the diagnosis.

It wasn't until I entered therapy in 2008 that the diagnosis was confirmed when my new T asked how I was handling my BP. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked that I actually had that diagnosis on my medical records. When I confronted my pdoc he said he thought I knew. In retrospect I did know, I had diagnosed myself! My therapist and I worked on my sudden realization that i had a chronic illness and what it meant. That took a long time for me to accept.

I think I have a wonderful T and Pdoc. I was in denial all those years even while getting regular blood draws for the Lithium, experiencing the destabilization and subsequent change to Depakote, and the angry outbursts caused by my hypomania. Now I take my meds faithfully and go to therapy. I am stable with an occasional depressive episode which med changes address. I don't think constantly about having bipolar, I just take each day as it comes.