Hello.

I am hoping you have asked for some outside help with your problems. They seem to be so painful and overwhelming. I also hear confusion in your words, as if your personal beliefs and thoughts get mixed up and leave you troubled and thinking life is unfair and youve had enough. First of all, I shouldnt have to say that yes, life is unfair and each of us gets dealt a differnt hand then we have to figure out a way to 'win with it.'

Everyone needs to be respected and feel worthwhile and welcome in the world. In a class conscious society that can be difficult for those struggling with emotional and financial problems.

It sounds like you have been through a lot and have been learning form bad choices and bad habits and now are working at a crummy job you dont think is right for you? You want more but dont know how to get it? Yet you also say that you dont hate the place you work, just the job. but then you say you ahve no ointention of moving up? Why not?

If you sit back and think about it, doesnt it take time and a lot of effort and working at crappy low paying jobs along the way to rise up the ladder where things are better?
And all of us have to work to have money to take care of our needs and not be out on the street, and I am guessing the people you work with also work at that hard and crummy job for the same reason: because they ahve to until they are able to move on to soemthing better.

So, what can you do to help yourself move forward towards a more fulfilling life? Stay off the booze and dope. Set goals fro yourself and follow a plan to make thigns happen. Be patient and take into serious consideration that we all ahve to work hard and put up with a lot of crap in order to get through to where we eventaully hope to be. There is no magic shortcut.

I send you good vibes . Things are done one step at a time. Figure out how you can make things better for yoursef, and get someone involved in helping you sort out your thoughts and probmes. We need to reach out and engage others. Each of need to that.

Take care now.