When I was diagnosed 10ish? yrs ago I was already going through major swings and self harming so I think I expected it. At the very beginning it was just MDD that didn't surprise me at all. Honestly I was more appalled when I found out I had BPD! I didn't fully understand it so when I looked it up, not only did I have every symptom but I felt like a complete monster! Thought I was just an evil little alcoholic baby then. Yea I'd say that scared me way more.

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