Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
I think, with the exception of people being internet Trolls, that most people are very much themselves online. If anything they are more themselves because some of our inhibitions are down - which allows someone's true self to come out.
I'm much more assertive online than I am in person. I'm not (as) scared of confrontation online than I would be in person for various reasons, the biggest two being that I don't SEE them and that I can take my time writing things. Does it mean I am going to be really rude or cruel? No. That's not who I am at my core.
We can only base our responses off of what you show us here - and your words here are aggressive frequently, even if you don't demonstrate that aggressiveness in person. Very few of us are such excellent liars that we consistently maintain two very polar personas - to use my assertiveness as an example, in person I come off as much more passive... with some exceptions. My assertiveness will come out when I am advocating for others (strangers or people I know). I quietly take care of my own needs but it's in a passive manner.. until I'm backed in to a corner and have very little choice left. My coworkers have never seen me being assertive for myself, but they certainly know that I am on the behalf of others as it's the only time people hear me speak up.
I think that is basically what everyone has been saying Shadix - that who we are online is still very much US just without all of the inhibitions. So... the aggressiveness you show here? It's in you. It likely does show sometimes in your behavior in person, even if you aren't aware of it.
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Yes, I agree that who we are online is who we are without the inhibitions. I am sensitive and do not tolerate people questioning my character or intelligence. If they do, I will become angry and I will want to retaliate. That is very much who I am. I am a nice person as long as you do not overstep your boundaries. I don't think there anything wrong with this.
However, in real life, I am not as outspoken as I am online and I will generally avoid expressing any opinions that would cause people to attack me. For example, you will never see me in real life arguing that it should be acceptable for me to date much younger girls. I reserve these discussions for the internet where there won't be any real social repercussions. However, there are still some occasions where people in real life will make comments that call into question my character or intelligence. I will often get offended. In my head I will be saying "eff you" but outwardly I will smile and pretend it didn't phase me. Yes I am very capable of this. You learn this when you spend your life being bullied and disrespected by people higher up than you on the social ladder.
But the fact is, my friends and coworkers in real life do not see me as an aggressive person at all. In fact, most of them see me as one of those "too nice" people, a pushover perhaps. If my anger/aggression shows, it would have to be showing as something else, perhaps anxiety or social awkwardness.
Honestly, I don't see most of you offering a solution. It seems like you are just trying to explain to me why I suck. I don't understand the motivation behind this.