Hello summersover: I'm encouraged to read this Thread... after having read some of your others that sounded pretty desperate. I don't know which came first. But either way at least at some point you have been imagining a future for yourself rather than thinking about ending it all.

When I was young, I also dreamt of being a musician. I even was accepted at the Boston School of Music. (My parents & one of my high school teachers convinced me it was a silly idea.) I still very occasionally think back & imagine what might have been...

I went on to get a Bachelor's & then a Master's degree & ended up becoming a rehabilitation counselor. Frankly, I think I'd have made a better musician... or maybe a long-haul trucker! But anyway... I would be the last one to suggest that you not pursue your love of music. On the other hand, in a career as a therapist, you could certainly do allot of good. And it would be my perspective that one would have allot more control over one's career as a therapist than one would as a musician where one is at the mercy of the listening public's whims.

So, all things considered, my thought would be to go ahead & pursue your music career. But also do what you can to continue to work toward a career as a therapist if this is of interest so that you have something going for you in addition to music. Under any circumstances, I would imagine that even if you find some success as a musician, it's not likely to be a life-long career unless you are classically trained & become a member of an established orchestra or something of that nature. Good luck! And please keep the faith...