I already recently relapsed on alcahol. It was only one can of beer but its on my mind to drink more . I'm very close to relapsing on drugs too. I think about it so much. If I do it I will hate myself and probably take more to get my mind off it.

Its important for me not to relapse especially as I might be getting a hair strand test soon. I have a chance of getting my children back living with me but I am overwhelmed and can't stop thinking about drugs . I haven't used for 2 years . I don't go to meetings .

I'm such a bad person for even thinking about using . I have to beautiful children to think about . I don't know what's wrong with me . I'm so depressed .

I even have deviant thinking . my mind is trying to deceive me . telling me I can have my hair strand test and then take drugs afterwards!! I'm so disgusted with myself for even thinking this way!!!! I hate myself! I hate living ! Please someone help me !

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