I feel so trapped and like the track on my life has run out.

I was riding a high with a great job, finally having new friends, and a lot of happiness - when crash, I hit a bipolar manic phase (unknowingly). I became almost hostile at my job, trying to challenge people, and quit in a rage of ridiculous and embarrassing emails. I started hallucinating and being very paranoid. I ruined my professional references in this way. I can't find a job that will take me because of this and it all feels pointless.

The friends evaporated when I moved after almost ruining my marriage and now I live in a new area with no friends.

I don't need to work because I have a husband that can support us both, but without a job, I feel useless.

I just want someone to give me a chance and be part of a community somehow.

How do people deal with being unemployed while bipolar? Does anyone have any ideas on how to start over when your last job reference wouldn't be positive because of actions from the bipolar issue?

I still can't believe this is my life.