I had a crisis a couple of months ago, and so I became the topic of a lot of family conversations. My 12 year old granddaughter had lots of concerns and questions. She mostly wanted to know if I would be ok. Her concern was really sweet and didn't make me feel like I was ruining her life. That's different than being blamed for stuff not in your control. I think, your BF and step kids are putting too much pressure on you. How frustrating!