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jrae · 01:08 AM

I’m not very good with people and relationships and things like that. so I wanted to ask for some advice or suggestions on a situation that happened and how I should go about handling it.

so I’m a pretty quiet individual, a strong introvert, and a very private person. hardly anyone actually knows about me and my mental illness and what it’s like having it and going thru it. but I took a chance on a friend and shared some extremely personal things with them, thinking they might understand at least somewhat. but the response I got back from them, wow…

my initial reaction was anger and being pissed that they could say such things to me. and I know better than to write a message when you’re angry or really emotional because once you send it (written or voice), there’s no taking it back. so now that I’m calmed down somewhat, I should figure out the best response.

I’ll try to explain things as best as I can. and for my privacy, I won’t just copy and paste the message. but here goes… (I’ll put my reactions/comments in [ ]. )

first off, she criticized where I’m living and why I’m there! [if you know ANYTHING about me, you know this is the best place for me to be right now - so I’m way pissed at that] then she made fun of my disability cuz I’m not able to do a job, saying things like “I never ever had the option not to work”. and she rambled on about stuff like that. [holy **** man, you think it is an option?! my god, then you actually don’t know anything about having a debilitating mental illness!]

the worst part of the whole thing is this, she says, “You are living the life of the charmed.” [really?!? you honestly think the he** I go throw on a daily basis is a ‘charmed life’?? holy **** - it’s like a punch in the gut and a slap in the face!]

and who the he** are you to tell me that I haven’t done enough treatment or tried enough options?!? you have NO IDEA what I have been thru, what I’ve done, or the toll it has taken on me!! and then she says, “I should delete this whole rant.....lol I'm just tired. Tomorrow though I have to get my *** out of bed and go to work.” [I think the last part of that was like a sucker punch towards me.]

one of my questions is, if you had second guesses about the message BEFORE you sent it, then why the he** would you send it?? it’s the digital age - write something down, leave it sit until your emotions cool down and then come back to it. re-read it over and if that is actually what you want to say, then send it. if not, make changes first before sending it!!! cuz once it’s out there, you can’t take it back! am I right??? that’s why sooo many people get into trouble with tweets and posts and things like that.

so how should I respond to this message?? I have not said anything to this person since I got her message. as you can tell, I’m really hurt by it and get very defensive at times. and I may never forget some of the hurtful words and phrases she used!

I kinda guess there are like five possible responses to this message. one - I could pretend that it didn’t happen, that I wasn’t hurt by it, and just whatever. two - I could fire back at her, saying what I need to say and if it ends up hurting them, so be it. (they apparently didn’t consider that when they sent their message in the first place!) three - I could just not talk to them again and just leave it at that. four - I could give her another chance and simply ask if that is truly what she meant to say to me or not. or five - some thing inbetween numbers two and three!

so … any thoughts or suggestions or words of advice or something like that?????