Thanks EJ and Rhapsody.
He abused us then abandoned us but then came back into our brother's life just to tell him that my Mom's a ***** and we're not his kids.
I guess that explains why I can't mourn for him. Still, I wish I could. He is my father. I remember him carrying me on his shoulders telling me he was going to take me to Disney land. The only other memories I have of him are bad ones.
It sounds strange but I feel like if I mourn for him then I can fully let him go.