Dear Justy:

Somewhere between the gorgeous curves of the women in the Rubens paintings --- and where you are today --- there is the image of a healthy and beautiful woman, one you can invent and choose to love as the "best" you.

Yes, I said CHOOSE. Choose life. Choose health. Choose beauty. Then let the weight issue go.

If you hold that beautiful image in your mind, feeling that you actually ARE that person, your actions will adjust to shape your body to fit that image.

Ask your T about active visualization. I think you are the perfect candidate for it. It involves CALLING UP IMAGES OF (seeing and hearing and tasting and touching and feeling) your new self and the life you have chosen.

As the painters of the ages have always known, womanly flesh is beautiful. Eating is only a way to allow that flesh to be healthy and also beautiful, while appreciating the taste of food at the same time. Eating should not be a control issue.

I hear you talking about SOMEONE ELSE'S VISION for you...about your doctor's expectations. That sets up a tug of war --- in which you ultimately take control by losing weight again.

You need YOUR OWN VISION: a beautiful, healthy, curvaceous woman---with all the love of life and sexiness that implies. Weight has nothing to do with it. And you need to hold that vision in your heart and mind every single day of your life until it manifests itself right before your eyes --- which it will.

Take it from a formerly toothpick thin person who graduated to binge eating and then to yo-yo dieting and finally to dropping weight control games. I don't need control. I have a neat self-image, which I feel is the real me. That self-image has its own autopilot --- which sets and resets and shapes my behavior on its journey to manifesting the inner me. It's completely effortless!

There is great joy in such letting go. I would want such joy for you also, Justy. Don't be afraid of the sexiness and power that you will have to deal with --- when your image manifests itself. If your image is that of a responsible person, you will deal with such power responsibly.

Love,
Adieu