Hello all. I've been searching for a forum to ask other people who have been through abuse some of the similar things I have and I also had a side problem I hope someone can help me with but let's get down to the root of the problem.

I'm looking to move out in 2-3 months in with my boyfriend whom is across the country. Which is a large decision for me, aside from just moving out somewhere in state. Honestly, I'm just not sure it's the best decision - I've been going back and forth for a long time.

My parents are both abusive, although my father is, for the most part, just physically abusive. I always feel as if I complain too much since it's not a constant thing - it's not every week or even every month but when it happens, it lasts for a few hours every time and ends up with a few bruises and cuts.

At the same time though, I do feel like it's mostly my fault. In general, I tend to get on peoples nerves or bother them because I don't understand some things very well (I had very little outside social interaction growing up, outside from the internet). I feel like I'm overreacting and it wouldn't happen if I had done what my parents wanted (which, in this case, was various things like speaking louder, reading some books, etc).

But, at the same time as that, I feel like treating people that way is unacceptable. Buuuuut, at the same time as that, I don't think I give people any other choice. You see the back and forth.

So, I don't know if I should leave. And moreover, I'm not very well versed with... well, "outside" things. People, jobs, etc - I can count the number of people I've been friends with IRL, and I've never had a job. It would be very hard for me. And another problem I have is that I don't take people seriously unless they get very, very angry with me. It's led to people thinking I enjoy it or like it and I don't - I just don't respond to anything else because I'm not used to anything else to respond to, if that makes sense. Idk.

I know this is a big jumble, but I hope someone can give me some insight on what I should do.

Also, I'm 19, almost 20 in July.