Quote:
Originally Posted by DechanDawa
Well, that is the message I took away from Artchic a few weeks ago. Granted, today it did sound like Artchic was a little sour on relationships, and it doesn't help to have the attitude that they are more trouble they they are worth.
I am also not saying that being single cannot be very lonely, and other negative things. However, my thought is that in order to make the future one has to work on the now. If one sits around drinking -- why would anyone be attracted to someone who did that?
It isn't about correcting every flaw. I think people are attracted to someone who is engaged with life. And someone who takes care of themselves. For instance, you might not have the most expensive wardrobe, but people will notice that you are well-groomed, and with clothes clean and pressed.
How many times have people said..."I wasn't looking for love but love found me"? That's probably because they maybe did give up a little on being desperate, and just started to enjoy where they were. This has happened to me in the past.
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Dechan, that's exactly the message I was conveying, or at least trying to convey. Maybe Nickname misinterpreted my message, or perhaps my message was a bit less clear than I had hoped. Either way, I was trying to say that a person who takes care of themselves and is happy tends to attract far more romantic attention than one who sits around all day in their own filth and pity. I mean, a person who sits in their own filth and pity all day even sounds unattractive in writing, I can't imagine what they might be like in life.
Okay, say you rely on relationships to make you happy, and find a person to be in a relationship with then said relationship fails at some point? Once they've left, you'll fall into such a deep depression from the loss that you might never recover. It's very unhealthy. That's not to say losing a romantic interest shouldn't make you sad, but it shouldn't be what you depend on for happiness either. Romance shouldn't be what makes your life worthwhile, but a means to enhance an already worthwhile life.
Like I keep on saying, embrace being single, for in that embrace is the strength to keep on chugging in this game we call life with or without a mate by your side. Who knows? When you least suspect it, love might just come along. Isn't that what lovers always say about their loves?
So yeah, sorry for the confusion I might have caused. Maybe I had some embitterment coming out of jealousy from a situation in my life, and that somehow crossed over into my trying to help you Mac. For that, I apologize. I shouldn't have done that. It's not helping anyone at this point.
Anyways, this isn't about me. It's about you, Mac. I hope you can find peace within yourself, and that my advice and support somehow helps you do so.
